Ommmmmmmmm….

Namaste, everyone! Sorry I’ve been so inconsistent. Since I last blogged, I 1.)went to New Orleans (and fell in love all over again), 2.) started a new blog with my friend, and 3.)  “discovered” yoga.

You see, for several years now, I’ve had a “hunch” that I would like yoga, that perhaps I even needed yoga. But because I’ve mostly been poor-ish for my entire adult life, I was never able to afford yoga classes. I tried watching some yoga tapes on my VCR (yes, I still have a VCR) and downloading some instructional videos off the internet. But doing (probably incorrect) yoga poses by myself on the carpet never really inspired me very much. The last time I tried it, I hurt my neck and had a headache for three days. That’s it, I thought. Guess yoga’s not for me after all. Then my mom invited me to go with her to the YMCA. We took a pilates class together, and then stayed for a yoga breathing class on a whim.

And my whole life changed.

As it turns out, my original hunch was correct. Not only do I like yoga, I do feel like I need it. Actually, it’s pretty much the reason I’ve been getting out of bed in the morning. Well, that and coffee.

See, I don’t get a lot of exercise, even though I know I should- especially since I plan to live to 100. Nonetheless, exercise, with the exception of walking outside on a nice day, just bores me. Or sucks. Getting on a treadmill makes me feel silly, like I’m expending all this energy and have nothing to show for it except sweat stains and a (presumably) firmer derriere. I can’t help thinking about what aliens would think if they were studying the human race based on a gym full of people. It would baffle them, and might lead them to believe we were stupid- heaving weights around for no apparent reason, walking in place for long periods of time, climbing invisible stairs- all while watching TV with the sound turned off. Plus, none of that stuff is fun. Working out always seemed like something I should do, but while I was doing it I just kept thinking, Man I can’t wait until I’m done with this!

But yoga isn’t like that at all. I lose track of time during the sessions, and when it’s finished, I feel a little disappointed, like the end has come too soon. And though it’s physically challenging, it’s not in a punishing kind of way. Instead it feels like I really am doing something good for me. What I really love about it is how it gets me out of my head and into my body. I spend a lot of time in my head, and my head is a very noisy (albeit interesting) place. But because remembering to breathe, to focus on my third eye, to hold all the muscles of my body in exactly the right position, and to move with grace and purpose takes so munch concentration, I can’t really focus on anything else. And I love that. It’s like a mini vacation from my raucous brain to a quiet but no-less-interesting place: my body.

In just the short amount of time that I’ve been practicing, I’ve gained a new-found appreciation for my body. It is a wonderfully complex, intelligent, and beautiful organism. That may be what I love most of all- yoga makes me feel beautiful. Not in a comparative, I’m-better-looking-than-you kind of way, but just in a happy-to-be-me kind of way.

Which fits in with something I’ve sort of loosely termed “Project Me”- which is my idea for 2010. I don’t really have firm ideas about what this means- it came to me while I was cleaning the chicken coop, and is partly evolved from the Feminine Identity Project. It has to do with developing myself as an individual, valuing my own needs and experiences, expanding my spiritual understanding, loving myself, and taking better care of myself- not just physically, but intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. More on this soon….