I thought I’d take a moment to update this all-but-forsaken blog so that my readers- those faithful few who haven’t abandoned me for my infrequent posting- might be enlightened as to the reason for my delinquency: I’m trying to get into grad school. And that means I have to have an awe-inspiring, lyrical, genius and thrilling-on-the-molecular-level 30-page writing sample. Naturally, all my creative energy is being funneled into it.

On top of that, I’m taking the GRE next week.

And I didn’t start studying until today.

This dictionary is big enough to kill somebody: Me

I know, I know. That’s what I get for being arrogant and self-assured. Hubris, I think they call it. Anyway, I’m not even bothering with the math part because I’m trying to get in for creative writing and they are only going to look at my essays and verbal scores. Words, schmords, I thought. Words are my thing. Rapacious. Salacious. Dearth. I got it covered. Up until today I thought I was a human dictionary. Or a thesaurus at least. I was even going to include something about it in the “Personal Statement” portion of my application materials. Some people collect Beanie Babies, it was going to say. I collect words.

But this afternoon when I slid the GRE prep disc into the computer, I learned that my prized collection is woefully incomplete. The most troubling thing is that the words I lack are words I’ve heard before: Divestiture (which the dictionary helpfully defined for me as “the act of divesting”). Sedulous. Craven. Words I should know, but don’t. Words I’ve read before but was too lazy to look up in the dictionary. (I have one of those enormous pedestal dictionaries, but no pedestal. I balance it on top of a speaker.) And now, that laziness is costing me.

On top of forgetting to eat- which happens when I’m stressed- (In fact, right before I wrote this post I realized all I had eaten for the entire day was a doughnut. So then I had two bowls of soup. And another doughnut.) I may have developed a new compulsion (or obsession) of looking up every single word I come across whose definition I don’t know. I’m either punishing myself or hoarding. Only time will tell.

So, dear readers, if you don’t hear from me for a while, know that I have only divested myself of blogging duties for a brief time while I sedulously forge ahead with my preparations, however bad they make me feel about my penurious vocabulary. To do otherwise would be craven as well as unwise.